You’ve heard it before – confidence is not a clothing size. I’m gonna say it again. Confidence is not about your curves or lack of them. It’s not even about your rolls of fat or lack of them. Confidence is a little seed somewhere inside of you. And it can grow. I promise. It can grow!
I was a curious child, as children tend to be. Then…life. Right? Through both direct and indirect messages, we often learn to stop questioning and just go along. Thankfully, though, some of us remember that curious spirit after a time. Thankfully, I’m one of those that did.
I feel kind of like there was an ember hanging out inside my soul and once it was given a little air, the flames grew! My eagerness to learn and grow is currently quite voracious…and I love it! I’m being reintroduced to myself almost daily – learning something new that I’d denied or hidden for years and letting myself explore those bits of who I am. It’s quite the marvelous journey.
I originally wrote this article for an online magazine called HaveHeart. Being triggered is something many of us deal with. It can be normal after a trauma. I’ve been listening to what some of you are saying you’d like to hear and what could help you heal…this article came to mind. I hope it reaches you when you need to hear it.
Ever had one of those experiences where you don’t know whether to be excited or scared or blown away by your own awesomeness? I’m in that moment right now! Right. Now.
And I choose to be blown away!
We’re going on a journey, folks, and it starts right here. Actually it started for me a few decades ago, but our time together begins right now. Right now!
You may be feeling excited by something. You may be feeling scared. Get ready to be blown away by how awesome you are. I’m going to help you see what I see in you. You are freaking awesome, amazing, incredible. Scoff at me all you want, it true, and I’ll help you believe it.
You ready? Let’s go!
I didn’t know I had it in me to put one foot in front of the other the way I have, but I did. I have time and time again. After I was raped as a teenager. After I left everything I knew to move 3,000 miles away from home with the man I love. Every time the Navy moved us to a whole new state, or back again. Through each trial, I focused on something positive and held tight to it until I settled into a new normal and grew stronger.
I know what it’s like to eat cookie dough for dinner. I know what it’s like to sit in the shower and cry. I know what it’s like to think sexual assault is my fault. I know what it’s like to feel like I couldn’t possibly look in the mirror and like what I see.
And I know what’s it’s like to look in the mirror and love who I am now. After all of that. After trauma big and small. After internal reflection, talking with therapists, and learning more and more and more. I can look you in the eye and tell you I’m pretty great.
And if you believe me, if you see that in me too, I might just wink and smile a knowing smile, because my dad always said, ‘It takes one to know one.”
If you see it in me, it’s reflecting from you. Let’s find your amazing.
This morning, while sitting in a bubble bath, I listened to a short video about how to recover from an off day. It was posted yesterday, which coincidentally felt a bit off for me as well. More on that in a minute, though. So, Anna made a great suggestion and then asked a question that I answered. My response to her spurred this post for you.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton