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Curiouser and Curiouser

I was a curious child, as children tend to be.  Then…life.  Right?  Through both direct and indirect messages, we often learn to stop questioning and just go along.  Thankfully, though, some of us remember that curious spirit after a time.  Thankfully, I’m one of those that did.

I feel kind of like there was an ember hanging out inside my soul and once it was given a little air, the flames grew!  My eagerness to learn and grow is currently quite voracious…and I love it!  I’m being reintroduced to myself almost daily – learning something new that I’d denied or hidden for years and letting myself explore those bits of who I am.  It’s quite the marvelous journey.

So,  who was I as a kid?  I loved attention and had a vivid imagination.  I liked to reorganize shelves and play in the dirt.  I could spend hours (or so it seemed) looking for four leaf clovers in the grass or making up stories about the shapes I saw in the clouds.  I asked a lot of questions, too.  One that I have a clear memory of is:  “Can I have a favorite in the Trinity?  Because I think I like the Holy Spirit best.”  My Catholic mother commented that we don’t really do that; the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one.  I accepted that, but continued to wonder about it.  But, life…

I also distinctly remember seeing spirits at one point in time but knowing that I shouldn’t say anything to any of my friends or family.  I remember shrugging to the spirits apologetically and running off.  At one point I thought about trying to learn more about the energies that exist in other worlds, but this was before the internet and I didn’t know anyone whom I could simply ask, so I probably shrugged that idea off too.  Life…

So, with life as my excuse, I grew up and let this spiritually connected piece of me stay hidden deep inside me.  In college I was confirmed in the Catholic church, which means that I accepted responsibility for my faith and accepted the Holy Spirit (still my favorite) into my heart.  Ask anyone who knew me then…I was all in!  I literally glowed in the light of my faith.

So, about that faith…someone once told me that the difference between us was that she believed you chose a faith and made your life fit within it’s bounds, where I was looking for something that fit around my life and beliefs.  She wasn’t wrong.  Even when I was glowing with the Spirit, I was doing what a lot of ‘good Catholics’ do – picking what to really believe and just ignoring the rest.  Over the next few years, though, that grew tiresome and the reality that I wasn’t being honest with anyone about my faith didn’t seem very faith-filled.  I began to get curious again.

Slowly I asked questions of myself and, since we have the Internet now, I found answers.  Those led to more questions and the cycle continued.  During this time, I went to graduate school to become a Marriage and Family Therapist.  I loved the education!  I even enjoyed the paperwork.  I know…I’m different. 😉   Sadly, though, I didn’t like the actual work of being a therapist.  I was fortunate enough to have a husband that supported my exploration, and wanted me to find a job that allowed me contentment.  So, I looked and questioned and continued being curious.

Through the years I volunteered some, worked here and there, had three children whom I’ve homeschooled, and lived in several states.  I’m been blessed to meet incredible women everywhere we’ve gone who’ve met me where I’ve been in my life at that point.  They’ve taught me things, given me answers, and shown me love.  Along the way I was learning more and more about myself and my faith.  With all these women behind me and with me I discovered Reiki, which was the little spark that found its way to that ember inside me.

After receiving my first Reiki treatment, a friend’s mother came to me in a dream with a message for her.  I nervously reached out to my friend, whom I hadn’t seen in decades but was connected to online.  Her response was one of deep appreciation and acceptance, “Not many people know that when Mom passed I found a note that she left for me in one of her dresser drawers and in it she said that if I’m reading this she must be in heaven and not to worry because she will never leave my side.”

Even with that confirmation, I didn’t know what it all meant.  Okay, I was getting back to seeing shapes in the clouds and finding meaning in coincidences.  But what did these quirks mean?  Anything?

A year or so later I found a Reiki Master I connected with and became attuned to Reiki, level I.  That simply means that she showed me how to be a conduit for this universal energy to flow through me.  Level I training taught me how to move Reiki through my own body, and to offer that service to others.

That little ember was now fully lit!

Since being attuned I’ve just become curiouser and curiouser.  I’ve drawn connections between the ease of understanding Reiki energy and my earlier acceptance of the Holy Spirit.  I’ve followed my heart and begun the work of excavating my natural and divine gifts.  I’ve read books, joined forums, watched videos…trying to satisfy that curiosity.

One of the biggest questions, that I keep asking, is what am I and what do I do with that once I know?  I guess that’s two questions.  And they’re both big.

And…guess what?  Guess what? Guess what? GUESSWHAT?!  I found an answer to both.

I am a Priestess.

You might be like, “What?”  Or you might be nodding because it all makes perfect sense.  You might be shaking your head in disappointment or smiling because you can feel my excited energy right through the computer!  Regardless of how you’re reacting to this revelation, I am humbled, honored, joyous, scared, amazed, giddy.

Priestess is the one label that feels tied to that little girl who saw spirits, played with dirt, and wondered spirituality.  Priestess encompasses all that I am and hope to learn.  Priestess allows for the various beliefs I have that don’t fit into a specific organized religion.  Priestess enables me to utilize all the training, education, and life experience I’ve had to help others in a way I’m meant to do.

I’m happy to report to that little girl that I once was, that I’ve found a place that speaks our language and a group of women who don’t look at me askew.  I don’t exactly know what the Spirit has in store for our future…but it’s sure to be a great adventure where being curious is not only allowed but encouraged.  I’m confident that I’ll get to continue growing and learning and helping others.

I’m a Priestess.

 

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