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Simple Brilliance

This morning, while sitting in a bubble bath, I listened to a short video about how to recover from an off day.  It was posted yesterday, which coincidentally felt a bit off for me as well.  More on that in a minute, though.  So, Anna made a great suggestion and then asked a question that I answered.  My response to her spurred this post for you.

First, Anna’s suggestion…she said that she takes a shower to rinse off the bad vibes, negative energy, whatever.  And my honest reaction was, “Brilliant.  Simply brilliant.”  As I typed the comment to tell her so, I realized that simple brilliance is what I offer.  I mean, I don’t want to be cocky, calling myself brilliant.  Truth is, though, I have a certain set of knowledge and skills.  I am taking steps to bring what I’ve learned and lived to you, to help you process your situation, and I don’t want to complicate it.  So, hopefully simple brilliance is what you’ll find here.

Can we go back for a moment, though, to the ‘take a shower to rinse off the crud’ idea of Anna’s and the fact that I was in a bubble bath while listening to her?  Did you catch that?  Yesterday I was doubting that I have the knowledge to help anyone.  (If you’ve been helped by me, I hope you didn’t just spit your coffee on your computer!)  A business coach I’ve been learning a ton from lately is offering a course that could propel me to the next level and I’m not taking it.  Fear and doubt started to creep in at the edges of my new and fresh realization that I am uniquely qualified to offer you whatever I offer because I am the only one who has lived my life and, therefore, the only one who can offer what I have learned.  That may sound like I talked in a circle, so let me boil it down.

Monday I was standing tall, shoulder’s back, all subtle smiles and little joys.  I was ready to begin working on a workbook for you to help process some of the pain in your life.  Tuesday caught me by surprise.  Not only was my mind showing signs of doubt but my plans for the day were abruptly altered when the washing machine overflowed.  I gotta tell ya, though, by Tuesday night, I’d dropped my original plans and focused on something different.  Wednesday morning I made the choice to take not just a bath, but a bubble bath, and start fresh.  And here we are…coincidence?  Maybe.  Or maybe simple brilliance.

Anyway, back to Anna’s video and her question.  She asked what my methods are to ride out the days that are off or to deal with it.  My answer?  I look at my goals and priorities and focus on them.

“Often I find that negativity has a path into my life when I’m trying to follow someone else’s footsteps rather than my own.”

(Just quoted myself!)  Yesterday, all those doubts began because I was feeling like I should be trying harder, doing more, being more.  If I really wanted to help you, I’d sign up for that program.  I’m not what you need.  You’ll be better off learning from someone else.

Full stop.

None of that’s true unless I believe it, or you do.  And I don’t believe any of it.  I was full of doubt because I was shoulding myself.  I had made the decision not to enroll in the business coach’s course because it didn’t align with my current goals, personally or professionally.  Once I took the time yesterday to realize that…the doubt had no place to be.

Let’s be real for a minute.  Yesterday, I was sitting and staring at a blinking cursor, trying to think of something profound to say to you while all that fear swam in my head.  Then I heard water splashing onto the floor in the laundry room.  I grabbed towels and a blanket out of the living room to mop up a laundry room full of water and to soak up what leaked into the basement.  I went into my bathroom, stared myself in the mirror and said, out loud, “Just give up.”  Then, I sighed.  I took a few deep breaths, like yoga has taught me – in through the nose, out through the nose.  I closed my eyes and stood up tall.  I felt Reiki flow through me and heard in my head, “Is that what you want?”  I opened my eyes and knew the answer.

I want to follow my path.  I want to continue to learn and grow.  I want to be vulnerable and show you that it is, in fact, a strength to be so.  I will help you because its what I do.  It’s who I am.

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As I looked in the mirror and smiled back at myself, knowing I’d re-centered on my priorities, I pictured those doubts melting away like the Wicked Witch of the West.  See ya!  And then I gave myself a break for the rest of the day, addressing Christmas cards rather than trying to be profound.

So, let’s recap…I was up.  I was doubtful.  I was frustrated.  I took several deep breaths.  I decided to let go of the nonsense and make choices that align with my priorities.  I didn’t beat myself up for half a day of crap-self-talk.  I took a bath.  I listened to Anna.  And I summarized-ish for you.

(See why I want to give you simple brilliance?  Because I tend to complicate the process of arriving at brilliance, right?!)

 

 

 

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